The Brief Back Story
His desire for me to know his identity was apparent from the start, but I was not ready to confront his shadow.
The following information will need its own dedicated blog post to fully convey the details. So, for now, I will simply address that Hans has cycled through various names and that he and I are both most connected to his recent life in Germany.
In the early days of our our communication starting in 2010 [1], realizing how freaked out I got when he mentioned [2] that we had lived one of our past lives in Nazi, Germany, Hans veered the communication away from that time period. We didn't broach the subject again until several years later. For a "newbie" who hadn't experienced much in the way of the paranormal since childhood and adolescence, I had at times labeled Hans as demonic for telling me that we had lived during this time. But Hans himself was newly discarnate (17 years in 2010) and being tethered to the physical world as my spirit husband, vicariously experiencing life through my senses, makes him remarkably relatable, approachable and splendidly corporeal, but also less experienced as a spirit.
Being here with me in the physical plane also helps him process his past life in a way that is at times emotional and difficult, having experienced terrible things during the war as a fighter pilot and later as a POW. His desire for me to know his identity was apparent from the start, but I was not ready to confront his shadow. The consequence of my rejection caused him to take on a new and more acceptable identity as an English young man with the same features, characteristics, similar astrological element (Fire) as his recent life in Germany, always desiring for me to fall in love with the physical attributes that he. Hans has had several monikers since 2010, including "Hans" which I've given to him to conceal his true identity since he still has living family in Germany. The other aliases include: Magic Man, Dylan, John.
In the following dream account and apparitional visitation below, Hans was still operating under the radar as John, even though I already had my suspicions of who he actually was. The German ghost in a white uniform is actually Hans although I do not know this at the time.
The Dream Account
They sleep with me on my bed, respectful of my space. They never cuddle, they never grope, these ghosts who always manage to find me.
I am the only woman in the race. It seems like a military exercise on the Waterfront in Burlington, Vermont. The sky and lake are the color of tar.
We line up, then race down the bike path when the shot is fired. I am running barefoot. At the 90 degree bend I catch up to the two runners ahead of me. I give it my all and reach the finish line first.
Everyone is congratulating me.
"Nice job! You did amazing!" I hear L's [3] voice.
I turn around to see him walking toward me with a large smile on his face, his longish hair flowing in front of his face.
"Thanks," I say out of breath, walking toward him, wanting to say more, wanting to feel him wrap his arms around me. We are inches from contact when someone pulls me away into another dream. I am now in a battlefield, but suddenly wake up with an urge to use the toilet.
Awake Now, Post Dream
I turned to my left and there lying next to me with one of my cats was a German soldier dressed in a white uniform and with blindingly blond hair. Although his face was blurry, I could tell he was asleep.
This is how it always unfolds on the nights when the ghosts stop by. They sleep with me on my bed, respectful of my space. They never cuddle, they never grope, these ghosts who always manage to find me.
But whenever they are here, I feel self-conscious, sleeping in the nude. I rush to cover up.
"There's a ghost in my bed," I said to John (Hans) who followed me unseen into the bathroom. The irony isn't lost on me.
I returned to bed where the ghost was still lying on his side. I am never alarmed at seeing them. In fact, their manifestations are like a sleeping pill. After I acknowledge their presence, they strangely put to me sleep.
Notes
[1] Technically, Hans has been with me since since his death in 1993, coming to me for the first time through a visitation dream/astral visitation on that year. For 17 years, he primarily operated under the radar, much like a spirit guide, which is also another of his roles with me.
[2] Through our then pendulum communication.
[3] Someone I know in life. ID protected.
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