As it is, romantic love can be difficult to put into words...
According to The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, a sayfish is defined as "a sincere emotion that seems to wither into mush as soon as you try to put it into words—like reeling in a shimmering beast from the deep only to watch it wriggle limply on the line, which makes you want to leave it down there, languishing unexpressed, where it’ll grow dark and slender and weird, with ghostly blue eyes and long translucent teeth" (Koenig, 2021, p. 71).
This term metaphorically captures one of the challenges of being in an inter-dimensional marriage. When you try to bring the "shimmering beast from the deep" to the surface or when you descend to the underworld in search of catharsis, excavating your way toward some sort of explanation that can easily be understood, but instead end up with a glimpse of an answer before it dissipates and returns to the dark---that's kind of what's like to be with Hans.
As it is, romantic love can be difficult to put into words--the reasons why you are inexplicably drawn to a certain someone--or how your heart aches for total union but biology always hampers what only the spirit can achieve when released of its flesh and blood. And so life becomes a kind of purgatory. For 30 years, Hans has held my hand throughout this process of suffering, helping me to periodically transcend my physical state of being, knowing that someday I will be back in the arms of my beloved.
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