Hans often says that when we make love, he has to hold back so much of himself in the process, otherwise he would literally kill me with his intensity.
This piece was created while contemplating Hans’s steadfast involvement in my life, serving as my co-pilot, as my wingman. Although he had been a fighter pilot in Germany in his previous life, equipped with his own wingman, now, as a spirit, he is not here to lead me, but to stand beside me, watching over me as I navigate my life.
It’s a strange arrangement for us both. I would prefer that he take charge and he would prefer this as well. But we both understand that this is my life and that his role as guide and ethereal lover can only extend just so far beyond the veil before it becomes too intense for me to handle.
Too intense because the way in which things operate in the spirit world are simply too energetically powerful, as in the law of physics that governs energy and matter, and how much our physical bodies can handle when put under pressure by the limitless kinetic energy of a spirit.
Hans often says that when we make love, he has to hold back so much of himself in the process, otherwise he would literally kill me with his intensity. This is not about physical sexual matters regarding anatomic concerns of girth and length, but rather the sheer power of what spirit lovemaking actually entails. Whenever a spirit engages in sexual acts with a human, they have to hold back unless their motive is to kill.
I have experienced Hans’s restrained, but passionate intensity to the point where I have needed to pull away from the intimate act to catch my breath, feeling at times as if I were on the brink of an ecstatic death.
So, yeah, Flügelmann, ein Seinszustand, der für keinen von uns ideal ist.
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