Here is a photograph—admittedly a poor one—of a preliminary sketch depicting Cupid [Winter] lifting Tanith [Nyx] into her daydreams of love, happiness, and fulfillment. It seems Tanith, like the artist, is as whimsical as she is imagined to be (he-he).
I struggled to render Cupid’s face, hoping to shape him in the likeness of Johnny Depp, only to find my hand seemingly guided by another muse [1]. Perhaps this was because I’ve grown so accustomed to sketching Henning’s features, and my intuition naturally gravitated toward him instead [2]. I tried to refine Cupid’s face, and while he looks different now, he doesn’t quite possess the allure I had envisioned [3]. Still, I’m pleased with how the sketch has come together. Cupid exudes the essence of a dark angel and even evokes the image of a brooding superhero [4], wearing his heart on his sleeve—just like the artist [5].
This sketch will be digitally incorporated into illustration number 23, which marks the opening of Chapter 4. In fact, illustration number 23 will span two pages [6]. I envision a vast, dreamlike landscape, teeming with figures and objects floating skyward, as if yearning to defy gravity [7]. The background for the scene is already completed, so I’m now focused on creating the individual elements that will come together in the final composition. As with all the illustrations, Cupid [Winter] and Tanith [Nyx] will undergo digital enhancement, and I’ll make it a priority to refine Cupid’s features to capture a more seductive presence [8].
It’s nearly 4 AM, and I have a friend stopping by at 10:30 AM for coffee and a walk. I should really get some rest.
Notes
[1] I would later understand why my inability to draw Johnny Depp happened. It turns out that Cupid/Winter eerily resembles Hans. I would only come to understand this in 2018.
[2] Nope. This face did not resemble Henning's face either. But I was trying to understand why Cupid's face had come out so different than my intention.
[3] I was already unconsciously aware that Hans was exceedingly gorgeous. Indeed, he was Cupid incarnate when he was alive. That I grappled so much with Cupid's face is a kind of psychic drawing--I knew I was on the right path, and yet I could not quite get every aspect as I wanted. Johnny Depp was merely a placeholder for the deeper meaning behind this drawing.
[4] Uncanny! Hans was a dark superhero of sorts---a fighter pilot in Nazi Germany.
[5] The heart is a repeating symbol that both Hans and I are drawn to. There's evidence to this from his recent life.
[6] Apparently, I still had enough control of this insane story that I knew precisely what I meant by "illustration 23" which was confusing until I furthered described it.
[7] Like Cupid, like Hans.
[8] I can't let this go. It seems as if I was so aware of Hans's presence on a viscerally unconscious level that I was embarrassed that I had not captured him as accurately as I should have. As if, I had known all my life what he looked like and to not capture him accurately was humiliating.
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