Although I consider my experiences with Hans to be spiritually transformative, I am far from being enlightened.
Spiritually transformative experiences (STEs) seldom fit into nicely prescribed ways of being. Even within its own categorization, STEs are varied and rich with storytelling potential.
The union between art, research, and storytelling is perhaps best suited to areas of research that are, according to western pedagogical applications, nothing more than "fringe" research. Tell that to my coterie of ghosts.
Although my research and dissertation are extremely unorthodox and taboo, I am not the first to set forth in addressing spirit marriage. Dr. Megan Rose and her brilliant 2019 dissertation on spirit marriage is the reason I came out of the proverbial closet after living in secrecy with Hans since 1993. Prior to stumbling onto her dissertation, I referred to Hans in safe euphemistic terms, such as my "spirit guide." Yes, Hans is a gatekeeper and guardian, but he is above all that, my lover and partner. I mean, how does one even begin to share that with just anyone?
I wish I could say that my relationship with Hans is a perpetual "mystical love affair" as my drawing title indicates. I want him in his former flesh, blood, and temperament--imperfections and all. He was so beautiful, but so tragically flawed--in other words, he was human.
This sketch represents the challenges we endure in our spiritually evolutionary process. Although I consider my experiences with Hans to be spiritually transformative, I am far from being enlightened. Throughout my spiritual quest, I falter as much as I make spiritual gain. I'd like to think I'm slowly evolving into a better version of myself and slipping into a state of comfort and ease mit meinem Mann, oder so hoffe ich!
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