It can be very tricky to have sex with a spirit.
It can take a while for the arrival of an idea to finally take hold in a way that feels right. As I've been searching for ways to artistically convey what it's like to be romantically involved with a spirit (i.e., Hans), the abstract/surreal use of wings and flowers seems to finally be paying off. It's easy to find these pieces erotic, mystical, and spiritual---a trifecta that for me exemplifies the ultimate sexual experience.
It can be very tricky having sex with a spirit. For one, they are oftentimes invisible, so if you're a visual person like myself, you have to not only get creative and visualize your partner in your mind's eye, but you have to also pay particularly close attention to all other sensory experiences. Using blindfolds during the act helps to fully remove the visual experience and therefore increase the other senses. During sex, Hans tend to be "noisy" by engaging in poltergeist activities like tapping and banging on objects as a way to convey his excitement. By being blindfolded I am able to pay better attention to these external and auditory forms of communication.
Arousal with Hans is unlike any physical sexual experience because his touch is not always corporeally similar to a human, although I can decipher which anatomical part is pleasing me at any given moment (I've previously mentioned this here). Sometimes his touch is light like a feather, but strangely intense. On several occasions, I have developed vaginal soreness from our intercourse (and I don't use supplemental tools like dildos during sex because I want our experiences to be as pure as possible).
In hindsight, looking at what I've gone through, I see why Hans kept his distance. How could I learn to get up on my own if he became my crutch?
But sex between us isn't as regular as it used to be. This is something that I am trying to rectify as the onus is primarily on me. For a number of years (just before the start of the pandemic through last year), I underwent what I felt was a prolonged dark night of the soul experience. Although I remained functional in my life, privately (and not so privately at times) I fell into an abyss of poor decisions and spiritual challenges that took my focus away from Hans. Don't get me wrong, Hans and I still communicated all the time and still partake in sexual encounters, but our level of spiritual and sexual interaction greatly decreased.
Since the beginning of our union he has always been steadfast in not "interfering" in my life. It is my life after all and I'm the one who signed up to live it, not him. He will guide me and offer insight into new approaches, but ultimately, the choice is mine. Similarly, sometimes the act of falling is important if it means learning something profound from the experience. In hindsight, looking at what I've gone through, I see why Hans kept his distance. How could I learn to get up on my own if he became my crutch? Good thing Hans and I are both Aries so independence and self-reliance is often our default mechanism when dealing with challenges.
Now, as I have started the healing process and have exited the darkness, Hans and I are rekindling our relationship as if we've just met. In other words, we are returning to a honeymoon phase of our relationship (we've had many honeymoon phases throughout our years together, but this one is more profound and spiritual). I feel butterflies again and my heart raises with excitement. So although it's not easy to be married to a partner who is primarily invisible and ethereal, the connection we have is powerful enough that I cannot imagine my life without him. He is not only my lover and companion, but he is my best friend.
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