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"I write to discover what I know."
– Flannery O'Connor


Union Beyond Boundaries: Love, Sex, and Spirituality with a Subtle Being
Exploring love, intimacy, and union with a spirit husband, this post unveils a profound, transcendent journey beyond the physical realm.
Lavavoth
Sep 30, 20249 min read

Into the Woods: A Three-Act Journey of Transformation and Spirit Connection
A journey through love, transformation, and spirit connection with Hans, my guide, told in 3 acts of shedding, searching, and surrendering.
Lavavoth
Sep 25, 20243 min read

The Quest for Spiritual Ancestry: A Journey Through Memory, Trauma, and New Beginnings
Exploring spiritual ancestry, past life echoes, and the call of the land, this journey uncovers hidden truths as I prepare to leave Vermont.
Lavavoth
Jun 10, 20245 min read


Into the Northern Wilds: A Journey of Aging, Spirit, and Sacred Land
A journey into sacred land, spiritual expansion, and aging as a return to the wild, guided by unseen forces and a spirit lover, Hans.
Lavavoth
Jun 5, 20245 min read


The Barren Fields: A Visitation from Hans
An intimate account of my connection with Hans, a ghostly fighter pilot, as I navigate love, trauma, and the echoes of shared past lives.
Lavavoth
Feb 19, 20246 min read


How Music, Lifestyle, and Film Shaped My Early Experiences of Sensing Hans
A journey of love transcending time: how films and music shaped my connection to Hans, my soulmate beyond death.
Lavavoth
Feb 18, 20247 min read


"River Phoenix" Astral + Precognitive Visitation October 31, 1993
Hans came through for the time during a visitation astral visitation on 10/31/93, shortly following his death.
Lavavoth
Feb 14, 202413 min read


Creating Art with Disembodied Entities: A Manifesto for Transcending Physical Boundaries
Creative work and partnership with subtle entities
Lavavoth
Jan 19, 20242 min read


Sayfish: The Challenges of Trying to Put into Words the Experiences of Spirit Marriage
The term sayfish metaphorically captures one of the challenges of being in an inter-dimensional marriage.
Lavavoth
Nov 8, 20231 min read


Dropping the Euphemisms: Sexual Encounters with a Ghost (My Spirit Husband)
I wish I could say that my relationship with Hans is a perpetual "mystical love affair" as my drawing title indicates.
Lavavoth
Nov 7, 20232 min read


The Verboten Love Affair
As I process what it means to be married to a spirit, the term verboten culturally enslaves my relationship with Hans and deems it demonic.
Lavavoth
Nov 5, 20232 min read


My Wingmann: The Intimacy Between the Living and the Dead and the Challenges of Making Love to a Ghost
Although he had been a fighter pilot in Germany in his previous life, equipped with his own wingman, now, as spirit, he is not here to lead.
Lavavoth
Nov 4, 20232 min read


His Winged Embrace
It’s hard to find the words to describe what it’s like to be held by a spirit, by a subtle being devoid of skin.
Lavavoth
Oct 6, 20231 min read


A Return to Blogging
A lot has happened since the last time I posted, including transferring schools and PhD programs.
Lavavoth
Oct 4, 20231 min read


"Smile Because It Happened": Birthday Reflection
I’ve been battling depression since I was 14. In many ways, consider myself a warrior—always reaching into my “resiliency gene”...
Lavavoth
Mar 31, 20212 min read


Nocturnal Visitation: Ich sehe dich in der Ferne
Early this morning, around 3 or 4 am, ich sehe in der Ferne, I see you in the distance, hovering in the black void, smiling...
Lavavoth
Nov 14, 20172 min read


A Valkyrie’s Love Poem for the Trees
They have destroyed your
beauty, your canopy that once enfolded me into
your splendor.
Lavavoth
Sep 6, 20171 min read


Ghosts of Berlin, Part 1: The Flak Tower
When I prepared for my trip in February, I knew, given its intense history, that I would inevitably run into a spirit or two...
Lavavoth
Dec 22, 20164 min read


From Prussia (and Beyond) with Love: Searching for Hans's Face in the Portraits of Others Leads to Unexpected Photo Collection
Collecting these photos was a spiritual and aesthetic quest to get as close to Hans's doppelgänger as possible.
Lavavoth
Dec 15, 20165 min read


Walking In: A Journey of Communion with Hans
Exploring the intimate and transformative experience of walk-ins with Hans, where trust, healing, & connection transcend the physical real.
Lavavoth
Aug 29, 20124 min read
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