Rooted in Vermont’s Mystical Energy
For over 30 years, Vermont has been my home, save for a two-year hiatus to pursue a Master of Fine Arts at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. Though I’ve occasionally felt the pull to leave, Vermont’s sylvan and mystical energy always lures me back, as if the land itself casts an unshakable spell. Within its ancient woods, I’ve experienced some of my most profound paranormal encounters—second only to those with my spirit husband, Hans, a subtle and transcendent presence who exists beyond the physical. Now, nestled in a log cabin on nearly 25 acres of old-growth forest, surrounded by hundreds more in an area of Vermont affectionately known as “The Kingdom,” I am finally living the life I envisioned when I first set foot in the Green Mountain State.
Hauntings of Places and People
For me, hauntings aren’t confined to places; people, too, can be haunted. My earliest ghost encounters began at age four in South America. At times, spirits appeared so vivid and corporeal that I could hardly distinguish them from the living. When I was eight, we moved back to the United States. Having spent much of my early life in Europe and South America, Spanish was my first language, despite being born in the U.S. Starting school without knowing English made me an easy target for bullying. To survive, I closed off the paranormal part of myself and focused on adapting to this new world. Art, stories, and music became my sanctuaries—safe places where the parts of me that didn’t fit could thrive.
Finding Identity in the Gothic and the Paranormal
During adolescence, I gravitated toward the goth scene, where I could finally embrace my fascination with death, cemeteries, the paranormal, and witchcraft. This subculture became a way for me to express a world that mirrored my inner landscape. At 17, I had my first spontaneous out-of-body experience (OBE), which reopened the doors to the ghosts of my childhood. Around this time, memories of a past life—a traumatic death during a WWII bombing in Germany—began to resurface. These memories, often triggered by events like the Pan Am 103 bombing over Lockerbie, added depth to my understanding of the ties between this life and the next.
With Hans’s guidance, I later delved deeper into these recollections, unraveling the echoes of a past life that still reverberate through my present. These experiences felt like initiations, preparing me for the profound bond we would share.
Spirit Marriage Across Lifetimes
Hans and I share a spirit marriage, a reunion we planned before this life to continue exploring our shared journey across lifetimes. Together, we navigate unresolved experiences and seek spiritual evolution. This bond transcends physicality, rooted in a deep connection that bridges worlds.
Art as a Visual Diary
My artwork has become a visual diary of my journey with Hans—a way to process and document our relationship, the paranormal, and our past-life traumas. Using soft pastels and surreal forms, I create abstract pieces that capture the essence of our encounters and the challenges of integrating our connection into the physical world. My work explores not only the romantic and erotic dimensions of our relationship but also the complexities of bridging the tangible and intangible. Each piece serves as a portal into the otherworldly and a testament to the profound bond we share.
Blending the Esoteric and the Scholarly
I am currently pursuing a Ph.D. in Psychology through the Creative Dissertation Pathway at the California Institute of Integral Studies. This pathway allows me to bring my personal journey into my academic work, blending esoteric exploration with rigorous scholarship. Through this synthesis, I honor my lived experiences while contributing to a deeper understanding of the intersection between the spiritual and the psychological.
*All photography by Lavavoth